Super Mom: The Empty Nest Season

 I knew my children were growing up. I knew they would eventually move out of the house and start their own lives with their own little families. But honestly, I didn't know eventually would happen so quickly in my life! I've been a homeschooling mother since 1994! My children have all graduated, drive their own cars, have their own jobs, and have their own homes. My husband and I have successfully raised our chicks, and they have flown from the nest. So what happens now? And what am I supposed to do with myself now that I'm not raising and educating my kids?

I wish there had been a manual or a preparedness book to prepare me for the massive amounts of emotions that seemed to overwhelm me in those days after we left Colorado and began a new season (and a wonderfully warm one at that!) in Florida. But there wasn't, at least not that I had found. And so, I am hoping to prepare you mamas who still have little ones, and maybe not so little ones, for what to expect. Kind of a "What to Expect When You're Expecting An Empty Nest"!

I want to assure you that your children will still need you! You haven't stopped being their mother, you haven't ceased being a mother at all. You're role will likely become more that of a friend and a counselor. Being a mother isn't just who you are and what you do. It was a role you had for a season. I want you to consider some things that may help prepare you as your children begin moving out of the house. What did you do in life before you had children? What were some activities you enjoyed, places you visited, and events that you looked forward to? Are those things that you still enjoy and have interest in?

If I can help another mama transitioning from actively parenting to empty nest, then I'll gladly share all I've learned. The truth is, though, none of us will transition in the same way. Some of us watch as our children leave for the military or get married or go off to college far from home. Some of us will move away from our grown children and perhaps our grandchildren. Some of us will mourn the loss of our "babies" as they move on with their own young lives. Some of us will rejoice that we finally can enjoy time with our husbands in more spontaneous ways! Some of us will have happy days while others seem to be sad all the time when we think about our children not being in the home anymore. Some of us will talk to our children daily and others may talk to our children once every few weeks. 

I searched for ways to ease what I was feeling, but none of them fit me just right. So, here I am sharing with you what I'm going through in hopes that it will prepare you for your own journey into this new season of having an "empty nest."

If you're already an empty nester, what tips would you pass on to women who are approaching this season?

Lyn~

Come for the journey, stay for the friendship!

Living Passionately

Recently, I have been thinking about times in my life that I felt most like I was walking in the favor of the Lord, living out my calling, or satisfied and complete. For the past few years, I honestly haven't felt as though I was living out my calling, I didn't feel satisfied in anything I was doing, and it just felt as though I was simply going through the motions of life. I look back over the past year, and it doesn't seem as though I've accomplished anything, let alone up to the level of completion I had in years past. In spite of that, I can still look over my life in the past year and see the favor of the Lord all over! What a joy that is to me!

Now, I can't go back through the last year and have a do-over. But I can make it a high priority to spend time with the Lord in order to find out what the His will is for my life and where my will intersects with His--wholeheartedly--there I will be satisfied and complete and walking out my calling! 
On Sunday, my pastor shared Colossians 3:23-24, which says:

Whatever we're passionate about, pursuing in life, having faith that the Lord will give us strength to complete, we need to do it until we are literally out of breath! And the Lord will reward us. Isn't that just the perfect ending to running our races?! The Father, Abba, Almighty God will reward us!

No matter what you think you missed, messed up, or lost control of, God will still use that for His good. Press in today to the heart of the Father! He knows the desires of your heart! He gave you the talents you have for a reason--USE THEM! 

What are you passionate about? I'd love for you to share!


Lyn~
Come for the friendship, stay for the journey!

It's Not Too Late to Choose Your One Word for the Year

Since 2013, I have started the year by choosing "One Word" to focus on. This word would guide my thoughts, actions, goals, and make my year more intentional. In 2020, just before the pandemic, I dislocated my toe, and I ended up having surgery. I lost track of the fact that I hadn't yet chosen my "One Word" for the year, and the year was pretty chaotic and a bit scattered. In 2021, before I realized again I hadn't chosen a word, we found ourselves with the opportunity to sell our house of 14 years and move to NE Florida. While last year or this year haven't been as chaotic as 2020 was, I still can see that my life, actions, and goals lacked direction that I had seen in previous years when I had my "One Word." 

So, I decided, even a month into the new year, I would choose a word for the year! Mamas, I want you to know that it's not too late! If you're trying to decide on a word, I want to encourage you to pray and ask the Lord to reveal a word to you. I'm guessing that you've already seen that word or heard that word popping up in your life so far. If you're having trouble focusing in on that One Word, the folks at Christian Planner have a One Word generator that can be helpful.

One Word from the Lord can change your life! Feel free to share your word, if you feel led to do so!

~Lyn

Come for the journey, stay for the friendship!

Super Mom: The Empty Nest Season

When I started blog, Super Mom: The Illusion, 11 years ago, I had the intention of helping other homeschooling, Christian moms with weekly encouragement, educating moms about homeschooling and what that really looks like with a large family, engaging moms with other women in similar life situations, and, often, entertaining women with glimpses into everyday life.

My last two children graduated from high school in 2020, and with that our homeschooling journey came to an end. Coupled with the pandemic, lockdowns, a trucker husband who was an essential worker, our family contracting the virus, and everything else, my blogging took a backseat in life. We were faced with new opportunities, though, that, through prayer, we believe the Lord aligned in His perfect timing.

In August 2021, we sold our home of nearly 15 years. The only home our youngest three children really ever knew. The home we bought after my step-father passed away so that my mom wouldn't be alone. The home where we said goodbye to three of our dogs, where we celebrated 7 high school graduations, a college graduation, anniversaries, birthdays, Thanksgivings, and Christmases. The home that all of our children came home to during military leave times and visits. The home with so many memories...

We began a new journey in Florida! After one home purchase fell through (through no fault of our own!), the Lord led us to the home we fell in love with and bought! It has everything on our "wish list," and we truly believe the Lord gave us "the desires of our hearts"! It's a smaller home with 3 bedrooms instead of six, but it is 20 years newer than our previous home in Colorado. LOL!

It's quiet here in our new home in the country. No children running around the house. No toys thrown all over the living room (well, there ARE dog toys EVERYWHERE!). No kids needing rides to work or school events. And it's in this moment that it's easy for me to wonder what life holds for me now.

I know that He works all things for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. I know that God has plans for me! Plans that will prosper me, plans for good, plans that will give me hope, a future, and an expected end! I know that for everything there is a season. And in this season, right now, right here, I'm not alone! 

So momma, if you're an empty-nester, know that this isn't the end of your story. There are so many things that await you in this new season! In the coming weeks, we'll discover how we can find our new purpose as mothers of adult children. We'll explore new opportunities for us in our church and communities. We'll see how our relationships with our husbands grow and change for the better. And most importantly, we'll strive to have a deeper relationship with the Lord.

I hope you'll come with me on this journey! And if you're not quite and "empty nester," I hope you'll join us so you can plan for this upcoming season! The Lord has so much in store for us! Don't be afraid to ask Him, "What's next, Lord?"

Lyn~

Come for the journey, stay for the friendship! 

He Works All Things For Good...

I wanted to share with you some things the Lord has been doing in my life, especially during this pandemic and time of near isolation. What an awesome God we serve!

I had foot surgery on Thursday, March 12th. That might seem a bit insignificant, but here's how the days following unfolded. I actually CHOSE to have foot surgery instead of an experimental PRP (protein-rich plasma) injection to repair a torn ligament in my foot/toe. After surgery, the Dr said the PRP never would have worked bc the ligament was completely torn off the bone! Friday, schools were closed. By that Tuesday, March 17th, all elective surgeries were cancelled. This surgery is considered elective, so had I even thought of doing the PRP and then ended up having to go ahead with surgery, I'd have had to wait. My husband and I are a planning to go to Poland for our 30th anniversary in August, and I would 1) potentially NOT have even had the surgery, or 2) not have been able to walk around Gdansk! God's planning is soo good! Additionally, our state's stay-at-Home order forced me to slow down, to prioritize some of the things I volunteer for on a weekly basis, and really focus on what He has for me in all of this for the year and for my calling. This has, ironically, been a wonderful time for me! Though I can't drive and walk around the lake near our house like I want, I have been able to be more intentional about my prayer time, remain focused on physical therapy and recovery from foot surgery, and I have been able to declutter, clean, and organize my home better than I have in the past few years!

What are some things you've been able to accomplish, see, change, realize during this time of distancing from our daily busyness and rushing?

Bonus: my husband is a regional truck driver, so he has been working through it all!

~Lyn

Come for the friendship, stay for the journey!

It's Not Okay to Quit!

Today, I'm taking back my health and my fitness!! While I had been a virtual "coach" for about 2 years, and seen GREAT success, had a setback, and waffled in what I was WILLING to commit to in my health and fitness journey, I decided I HAVE to do this! My WHY...is ME!

I'm not trying to lose weight and get healthy to be sexy for my hubby of over 30 years (a plus, no doubt!), I'm not doing it to keep up with the grandkids (another plus, though!), and I'm not doing it to silence those who might call me fat or look at me a certain way (Who's listening to those people anyway?!) NO! I HAVE to do this for ME! I recently realized that I hadn't looked at the value of working out and being a healthier more fit version of ME! That was a reality check for me! I have to find the value in becoming the healthiest version of me first!

It wasn't until I was listening to one of my favorite motivational speakers (Terri Savelle Foy!) the other day that I even realized that! She said that when you try and fail and try and fail, you don't believe yourself, you don't believe you can do it. When you do that over and over, you start making silent promises. But your dignity takes a hit each and every time, and your personal integrity doesn't know the difference of whether you say something out loud or to yourself. You gradually lose confidence in yourself. So you have to build a reputation to yourself--That you KEEP the promises you make to YOU!

You have to believe in YOU to be successful!

Make one simple promise to yourself:

Focus on your new reputation of yourself, that you keep your promises to YOU! You have to decide to do it. The Latin root for decision is to cut off alternative options. If you say, "I'll TRY to...," you haven't made a quality decision. Change that response with, "I'm GOING to..." and don't settle for anything less than accomplishing your goals and keeping that promise to yourself!

What promise will you make to yourself? I'd love for you to share!!

~Lyn
Come for the journey, stay for the friendship!

How Do I Know I'm Living Out My Purpose?

The past few weeks we've been talking about finding our purpose and how we even know what our purpose is! Today, I want to ask you, how do you know you're living out your purpose? 

I suppose my purpose has changed a bit over the years and I believe that's okay! It's not that God called me to something and then took it away. No! Quite the opposite. See, as a homeschooling mother, my purpose was to educate my children, for our family that was through high school graduation. Now that my youngest two have nearly finished that aspect of their lives, that purpose is coming to and end. 

Now, I'm a leader in a youth organization and have had the pleasure of sowing into so many young people, sometimes without ever really telling them about Jesus, but sowing His love, compassion, gentleness, and goodness into their lives. One of my favorite things I've done with them, that is BIBLICAL, is to have them create their own vision boards! And you know, that's my purpose in life for these kids at this time.

My sister homeschooled her three children through high school graduation. Then she, her husband, and all three children were in college at the same time! She got a degree in teaching, sowed into the lives of the students at the charter school she worked in, and now, she is ministering and filling children in Poland with Jesus' love and goodness, even though they don't know it!

I think of Esther. She was a young, beautiful woman that found favor with the king. He chose her over the others. And she was the vessel God used to save her people, the Jews. When her people were saved, did Esther's purpose in life cease? Of course not! Now that may be all we read in the Scriptures, but that is a great account of Esther's purpose at that moment in life. Isn't that neat?

You see, your purpose isn't necessarily a one-time, all-inclusive purpose. it may be for a season or for a lifetime, but God always has a purpose for your life!

What's your purpose? Has it changed as you've entered different seasons in life? I'd love for you to share!

~Lyn

Come for the friendship, stay for the journey!