As a mom of 8 kids, I imagined that they would all grow up, live near me in our town, have me watch their children, and we would celebrate every holiday and birthday together. When we moved to Florida, I realized that was not going to be the case. Sure, we had chosen to move, but certainly the kids would find a way to make US a priority and come visit. Well, that's not always what happens. My husband and I do go back to Colorado to visit our kids and grandbabies, and sometimes they come here to visit. But not for holidays or birthdays, really. You see, I had this idea that OUR family was supposed to be the priority for our kids...but that's not how God intended it, at least from my perspective.
What the Bible Says-
When each of my children were married, THEY became a family! We might say, "We gained a daughter," or "We gained a son," but really, we launched a FAMILY! That's what is supposed to happen when our children become adults and are married: they create families. My role as their mother stretched beyond preparing them for adulthood (I don't know if I did that very well...), and I became a bird launcher, giving them confidence to spread their wings and soar in t
his thing called adulthood. Each of our children has thrived in life, but they also know they can still call me or my husband to ask advice if they need it, or just call to chat. Would I like my kids to come see me more often? Of course! Do I want them to prioritize my husband and I over their own family? NO! I want my kids to feel confident in going and doing things with just their families and not feeling bad for it! I want them to begin to foster love, confidence, security, and independence in their children, just as we did for them when they were little.
I believe that the best thing we can do for our children as they grow and move into adulthood, marriage, and parenthood is to support their efforts and give them confidence to become independent families. Our children will always be our babies, no matter how old they are, and they won't cease being our children just because they get married. Helping them to create solid foundations in their families is a priceless gift we can give them.
When you feel as though your children are no longer a part of your life or that you're an empty nester, just remember that they will feel love, supported, and confident when we don't pressure them into prioritizing OUR family over THEIR family. You've done a great job raising your children, mama. Now give them the freedom to do the same!
~Lyn
Come for the journey, stay for the friendship
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