Friday, November 16, 2012

Balancing act

Ever since I can remember, I've enjoyed balancing.  I was a gymnast in my younger days and the beam was my favorite apparatus!  Then came the time following my parents' divorce when I felt, at 14 years old, that I needed to balance my display of affection equally for my mom and dad.  As the years passed, I became a victim of rape and balanced being a socially functioning high school student with the very real feeling of wanting to hide away from everything and everyone in the world.  (See my earlier post Revealing the Illusion).
After I graduated high school, and accepted the fact that I was pregnant (NOT a result of the rape, fyi!), I also accepted that God had a plan for my life.  I began dating my now-husband when my son was just five months old.  Within three months, we were engaged, and I began a new balancing act:  mother and soon-to-be wife.  Eventually, I felt as though I was doing pretty well with the whole balancing thing, especially as our family grew from just one child to eight children in just over 12 years!  I balanced homeschooling, breastfeeding, sickness (the kids and me at different times), homemaking, meal planning, taxi driver for the activities our children participated in, Sunday School teacher, singer on the praise and worship team at church, even going back to college at age 34!

But I felt a gentle prompting of the Lord telling me there was something I wasn't balancing quite the way He had planned.  I had neglected the gift of writing He had given me!  I would write news reports, write research papers just because I enjoyed doing that, and spent a lot of time writing essays, poems, and non-fiction pieces for college, but had still not done what HE had called me to do.

Well, I am thrilled to say that when our church decided at the beginning of 2012 to challenge everyone to a 90-day challenge that could include anything from reading the Word more, spending time in intercession, or even writing a book, I accepted that challenge!  I didn't complete my book in the 90 days, but accepting that challenge gave me the opportunity to say, "Yes, Lord!  I'll do what you called me to do!"  I continued to write that story, but then felt the Father telling me it was time to put my schooling on hold.  It was a distraction and something I wanted to do; it wasn't something God had planned out for me. 
It was kind of scary letting go of what I wanted to do and relying fully on the thing He wants me to do.  But I have never written so much in my whole life!  I can see this book, the characters, the little fictional town I created, and it's all through the goodness and grace of God that I am able to do that!
I also positioned myself with an amazing group of fellow author/writer moms and people who will build me up in my walk with the Lord, my journey as a rookie writer, and as a wife and mother.
Regardless of what you may be balancing today, make a point of positioning yourself with people who will come along side of you to steady your walk, help keep the plates spinning, or keep your from falling off the tightrope!  And of course, lean on the Father when you feel as though you are starting to fall...HE will catch you! 

"When I am weak, that's when you are strong.
When I let go, I fall into Your arms..."-- Jon Thurlow, "Divine Love"

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