To All the Moms….
To all the moms out there that wrap their three year olds in baby
blankets because you know it's your last child this is for you.
I get it now. We spend so
much effort pushing our first born’s
to walk and talk and do algebra before pre school that by the time the second
one comes along we 're exhausted from trying to get our first child into
Harvard early admission by age 6. I never understood what the big deal was
because in true fashion I gave birth to a "gifted" over achieving
first born child who now at age 6 is completely convinced she has no need for
me. When she was 9 months she insisted she didn't need to breast feed anymore.
And just recently she informed us that she's going to live with her
grandparents or go to New York City. Of course it was with great thrill we
watched her hit every milestone early as I happily reported each effort to
everyone on social media. And when she was 2, I decided I'd like to give birth
next time to a child that would "need me." Lucy has tired of me by
age two and decided daddy was the one who could get things done around here
when it came to getting her way. She decided to concentrate her womanly powers
on wooing her daddy to her side and then achieving her goal of world domination(
well at least in my house). So of course we got pregnant and along came her
sister "the good one" as we jokingly referred to her..Ruby Joy.
Lucy, who's name means
bringer of Light and we do mean that in a super hero kind of way, now had to
make room for God's precious jewel, Ruby Joy.
And things were different from the very start. Ruby is a
different personality, and I love it. Whereas Lucy will look at a slide and
think it will help her fly, Ruby will get up on the top and spend 10 minutes
figuring out if this way down is too scary or not. Ruby didn’t like merry-go-round horses; she chose to
sit with mommy. Ruby is cautious and careful, and Lucy is carefree and crazy. Um, did I say that out loud? You get the picture.
I’ve actually
lavished in having a child who needs me. It’s never been a burden as she reaches for my leg in a crowded store
or still asks me to help her peel a banana. She’s 3 now and it’s
going too fast. I came in to check on her sleeping tonight and noticed her
whole body is getting longer. I didn’t see this coming it just snuck up on me. I wrapped her in a baby
blanket and took her over to the rocking chair. These days my best cuddles are
while she’s sleeping. I
rocked her and told her very softly, “My darling little Ruby Joy, you are not
allowed to get any bigger or older for mommy is fearful you will need her less.
Do you hear me? I’m not allowing it. You must always be able to fit in my lap
right here on this chair.” Just at that moment my fearless flying 6 year old
woke up and saw me singing to her
sister. She sleepily climbed up in my arms and said, “rock me mama!” I realized
there is still a part of Lucy that will always
be my baby. And as long as it’s remotely possible I will rock her in my
arms any night of the week. I wonder if my mom feels that way about me and I’m 40?
-Kerri
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