I am usually pretty transparent with you all, and I don't want today to be any different. The past few weeks, I've been more emotional than is typical for me. I can't read one of those "missing my mom or dad" posts or reunions with soldiers or fur babies who have died recently without tears flowing uncontrollably. When I hear of friends and loved ones whose marriages or relationships have ended, I sob as though I were going through it! I get easily angered in situations that I have no real control over. And I feel like I'm drowning in this sea of emotions. I don't know why I feel this way either. And that makes me even more upset.
I realized a few things during this time of contemplation of my emotions.
First, I believe I am having these emotions because I'm choosing to not deal with other situations in my life. I recently stepped down from a leadership position within the youth organization in which I work and suddenly feel as though I'm not really needed nor appreciated. That should be okay to not be needed! After all, that's one of the reasons I stepped down! But that has me upset.
Next, my best friend is moving. Not just a few blocks away or a few miles away or a few hours away. She's moving 18 hours away! I'm so happy for this adventure she's going to be on with her family. But I'm also going to miss her very much...
Finally, I've been missing my step-dad an awful lot lately. "That's normal," you might think. And I suppose it is. But this is the 11th anniversary of his passing, and his absence is so strong to me that I can't ignore his missing so many exciting things that are happening in my life, my mom's life, and the lives of my children. It's all so overwhelming to me, and I think it's just spilling over in my emotions.
My confession today is that while God gave me free will and emotions, I should not and cannot allow myself to be ruled by those things! Derek Prince says that the Bible "...pictures life as it is. It takes account of human weakness" ("Through the Psalms," Derek Prince). He goes on to say that in the life of faith, there is a conflict between our spirit and our emotions and that our spirit will not yield to the dictates of emotions. Rather our spirit says we will turn to God and remember what His Word says, finding the promises of God that meet our needs. That's what I'm going to do starting now!
Today, if you find yourself stretched, frustrated, overwhelmed by emotions, and in need of the Lord, declare the promises of the Lord over your situation! Just open up the Word of God and ask Him to show you!
Have a blessed weekend!